Before he made people across the world tremble at the thought that Metro Boomin lacked trust in them.
Before he became an international sensation.
Before he dominated a summer.
Before he fucked a single bitch while wearing Gucci flip flops.
Before he put dirty soda in a Styrofoam.
Nayvadius Wilson was depressed.
The type of depression that makes one think love doesn’t actually exist.
The type of depression that makes you wonder what’s the point of even trying to find one’s soulmate, because those things are just myths.
The type of depression that people make Oscar nominated films about.
For the first time in his life, a man whose persona revolves around the idea that he could get any girl, at any moment’s notice, simply because of who he is, decided to settle down and attempt to sustain a long-term relationship with a single woman. And it blew up right in his face.
During my freshman year of college when I was just idling in my room my roommate came in, dropped his bag, and proceeded to lay down face first on his bed, for hours. He didn’t move, didn’t say anything, and didn’t go to sleep. He just laid down and after a couple of hours he gets up, looks at me, and says, “Ayy yo, I’m done loving any more of these bitches. From here on out I’m gonna be a straight savage, period.” Monster is that feeling on steroids that are laced with cocaine. Future just got out of his high profile divorce with Ciara, and once those divorce papers were signed, so was his ability to manifest feelings. While the average man deals with a breakup by laying down and crying, repeating the phrase “fuck that bitch” to himself over and over again, or by beating their dick, Future isn’t your average man. He has access to more drugs, women, and strip clubs than one can count, and those things became his outlet of choice. Monster is a dive into the mind of a man escaping into a codeine and sex laden fantasy world. A place where drugs are as necessary for survival as water, women are nothing more than their vaginas, and euphoria is just two Styrofoam cups away.
It don’t fuck with my conscience I serve my auntie that raw
Future’s introduction for the title track of the mixtape serves as the thesis statement for his life post-Ciara. He doesn’t care anymore about what is considered right or wrong. He does what the fuck he wants, whenever the fuck he wants it. If that means serving his own family members drugs, if it means popping Percocets like they’re Tic Tacs. There is only one thing on Future’s at all times, and that’s himself. The one time he tried caring about another person it ended up stabbing him in the heart. Now he constantly indulges himself in the things he knows can only make him happy. Money, sex, and drugs.
I’m young Freddy Kruger, I promote prostitution
Imagine everything you would hear at a typical feminist rally. Now imagine the opposite and that’s what Future promotes throughout Monster. Women are nothing more than the sex they offer, and if she isn’t willing to give it up than Future has no place for her.
Two bitches came up, seven bitches came after that
Future runs through women like they’re a revolving door. He has sex with them, and as soon as it’s over it’s their time to leave. He views the idea of being in a relationship the way the average person views a homicide, and the fact that some of these women may have even caught feelings for him does nothing short of disgust him. Nothing illustrates this more than the first part of Throw Away.
I want no relations, I just want your facial
Girl you know you like a pistol, you a throw away
Future screams repeatedly over the hook.
I won’t ever tell you anything your heart desires/
If we have a conversation gotta fuck today/
I told her I would call back and I forgot to text her/
At the first listen it seems Future has discovered a new level of douchebagery. Casting women aside as though they aren’t real people. Never once caring about the girl’s feelings because of the Neanderthal like inability to look past his immediate desires. For exactly two minutes and ten seconds Future seems like the emotionless hedonistic person he makes himself out to be during the first five and a half tracks, but then, everything changes. The beat drops, and the once bashful melody transforms into a sobering tune where every instrument seems to blend in with the other.
I know your true feelings aint…they couldn’t be here, you hear me? They gotta be somewhere else.
Future mutters during the intro, then he pours his heart out like few rappers have ever done before. He reveals that while he is having threesomes he still thinks of his ex-fiance, Ciara. How he wishes that when she is sleeping with her new man, she still thinks about him. He pleads with her that she holds on to him and gives him one more opportunity, before asking her if she really doesn’t love him anymore. Now the smoke has cleared, and Future’s true intentions are made apparent. He doesn’t push women away because he doesn’t care about them, he does it because he is afraid. Afraid that if he does they’ll just turn around and break his heart like she did. He can’t catch feelings for any new girls, because he still has plenty for the one who left him.
Monster is a lie. What starts out as the soundtrack to hedonism is quickly unmasked as a charade to cover up the pain. Every pill popped, every cup sipped, every women he’s slept with, is all just a feeble attempt to cover up his true feelings. He is still really fucking depressed. He drowns himself in drugs, alcohol, and women because the temporary pleasures they give him is the only things stopping him from thinking about hi ex. And they don’t work.
No rap project perfectly illustrates the emotions felt through heartbreak as flawlessly. The way Future pretends to not care about his heartbreak is the same way every man pretends they don’t care about theirs. “Nah man, fuck her I’m glad she’s gone.” No man has ever embraced the fact that they might be broken, and they constantly lie to themselves so they don’t have to face reality. Monster perfectly encapsulated the feelings of denial, anger, despair, and acceptance everyone feels towards their ex. Initially when it dropped it was seen as a way for Future to distance himself from the pop-oriented Honest. Now, after two years it can finally be understood as the masterpiece that it truly is.