If you can’t gouge a hole in yourself to stuff a game camera in you’re a weak tree : gatekeeping

If you can’t gouge a hole in yourself to stuff a game camera in you’re a weak tree : gatekeeping

What the fuck did you just fucking say about my tree, you little bitch? I’ll have you know my tree graduated top of its class in the Navy Seals, and it’s been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and had over 300,000,000 confirmed kills. My tree is trained in gorilla warfare and it’s the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to my tree but just another target. It will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to my tree over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak my tree is contacting it’s secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. My tree can be anywhere, anytime, and it can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with its bare branches. Not only is my tree extensively trained in unarmed combat, but it has access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and it will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. My tree will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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