The Rare Norm a couple of months ago Share Tweet Pin Share Honestly, refuse an episiotomy unless you are about to tear into your anus. Tears are usually smaller, healer better, and the skin is anesthetize so you really can’t feel it. Can’t really feel the stitches either. Put this in your birth plan before you go into labor. And start having your partner massage your perineum now, and request that at delivery. It’s weird with the nurse, but it can turn into sexy time with the partner. Good luck hon! But I promise we all make it out to be awful (and it is) but not as bad as you fear! Edit: And you won’t even know if you shit yourself. Promise! They have pads there for pushing, and they will change out the pad faster than you can even notice. Also, most people get the poops hard core at the start of labor, so you don’t have any poop to go.